


See You Tomorrow

by MelJoyAZ



Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-27
Updated: 2013-09-27
Packaged: 2017-12-27 17:53:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/981878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelJoyAZ/pseuds/MelJoyAZ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kelly is dealing with the change in his friendship with Nick along with doubts that crop up during Nick's deployment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	See You Tomorrow

Kelly Abbott stood staring at the blinking light of his home answering machine. He had checked the Caller ID a second ago and the number that popped up on the display had made his gut clench, both in anticipation and in fear. It had been a calling card number, a calling card of the sort that was handed out to military men and women overseas so that they could call home occasionally, cell service to the States being non-existent. Someone was calling him from overseas and had left him a message. 

Kelly blew a breath out before going to the refrigerator to grab a beer and heading out to sit on his deck. He wasn’t up to listening to the message right this minute; a little liquid courage would go a long way. Propping his feet up on the railing, he took a long pull of the cold beer, drinking deeply before turning his thoughts back to the blinking light of the answering machine. He wasn’t worried that it would be bad news, per se. If anything had happened to his teammates over in the desert, he wouldn’t be notified through a fucking phone call and a message left on an anonymous answering machine. A knock would come at the front door, a uniformed Marine there to deliver the news in person as a courtesy to the team member left behind.

Kelly rubbed at the scar on his side, a reminder of what had happened to him just a month before Sidewinder had been called back to active duty. He remembered the bitter tears he had shed at not being able to accompany them; tears of frustration at his slow recovery, of not being fit for duty, of not being able to have his teammates’ backs, not being there to fight alongside them and put them back together if something happened out there. His place was with them, not stuck here alone while they fought in a senseless war.

Right before Sidewinder had shipped out, Ty had called Kelly, his voice grim. 

“Promise me, Abbott, if something happens to me out there, you’ll go to Zane. Don’t let him find out from someone else. I trust you. Look out for him. Please.”

Kelly had promised, his heart aching with sympathy for Ty and Zane’s situation. Zane was Ty’s life partner, his true next of kin, the one that should receive a visit from the Casualty Assistance Calls Officer if, God forbid, anything happened to Ty. But their relationship wasn’t recognized under the law, and even more so due to Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Zane, legally, was nothing, had no right to any military benefits or courtesy. Earl and Mara would receive the home visit, and in their grief, it was doubtful that anyone would think to let Zane know immediately, much less come to him and be of support. Kelly knew that Zane had already been through an unimaginable loss once, and he promised Ty that he would do everything in his power to be there for Zane in whatever capacity he needed.

Even though Kelly couldn’t see the blinking light of the answering machine from where he was sitting, it mocked him from the other room. If any of his teammates had a calling card and an opportunity to call someone in the States, there was only one person that would be calling him. Ty would call Zane, and Digger and Owen sure as hell wouldn’t be calling Colorado to talk to Kelly. He snorted at the thought. It could only be…Nick. His gut clenched again, and he let his mind drift to thoughts of Nick O’Flaherty and their now-complicated relationship, if ‘relationship’ was even the right word to use.

After Kelly had been so grievously wounded in New Orleans, Nick had been his rock. They had always been extremely close, but Nick had dropped everything to care for Kelly, getting him home to Colorado, helping him set up doctors’ appointments, physical therapy visits. He had stocked Kelly’s house with groceries, fielded phone calls from concerned friends and coworkers…Kelly didn’t know what he would have done without him during that first month after his injury.

Kelly took another gulp of his beer and let his thoughts finally turn to the unexpected jog their friendship had taken before Nick left. His face burned as he remembered begging Nick to kiss him that night, his inhibitions lowered by powerful medication and his natural curiosity taking over. He’d wanted to experience something new, something different, and he was fascinated with the thought of two men being together. He’d seen Ty and Zane’s relationship firsthand, watched it implode from his unwilling ringside seat, then watched the two of them, so obviously deeply in love, right their ship and sail shakily off into the future. 

Ty Grady, in love with another man. Kelly had been stunned when he’d learned that, even more so when he found out that Nick was gay, too. He couldn’t believe he’d been so fucking blind for so long, even though he knew that they’d had no other choice, considering their career path, than to bury it deep to where nobody knew. He winced as he thought of how some of their comrades-in-arms would have taken the news that they were sharing a foxhole with a gay man. Even Owen, who loved Nick and Ty like brothers, had reacted badly and still hadn’t fully come to terms with it.

After the shock had worn off, Kelly’s fascination and curiosity had taken over, and he’d made that request of Nick. Both of them had been stunned at the intensity of what had happened next. Kelly had never had a sexual experience that intense, that heated, in his entire life. It had consumed him, overwhelmed him, and he’d wanted more. Nick had given him more, and Jesus Christ, had it been good. Kelly had started to think that maybe there was potential there, that they could get beyond fucking and actually build something together. Then Nick was called back into service.

Now, with time and distance blunting those feelings, Kelly wasn’t sure what the fuck he’d been thinking. Doubts had crept in, worry that the intensity of his feelings had been exacerbated by what they had gone through in New Orleans, by the stress and shock of his injury, his gratitude to Nick for what he’d done for him afterwards. Kelly had started to think that he’d blown the whole thing out of proportion in his mind, that it was only an experiment that had taken on a life of its own and had gotten out of hand. Nick hadn’t said anything to him before he left to report for duty, had just hugged Kelly fiercely, kissing him roughly, before driving off. Kelly hadn’t heard a word from him in months, and there just wasn’t anything concrete for him to go on.

Suddenly his cell phone chimed, letting him know of an incoming text. He glanced at the screen, smiling when he saw the number. It was Laura, a woman he had met about two weeks ago while running along the lake at a local park, asking if he was going to meet her tomorrow for their usual run. The day he met her he’d noticed her immediately, admiring her form while jogging, her lithe athleticism drawing his attention. When she’d seen him looking, she’d given him a brilliant smile and slowed down for him to catch up. They’d run silently together for several miles, and then Kelly had asked her out for coffee, where they’d talked for a while, getting to know each other.

A day or two later they’d met up again at the jogging path, run together and then gone to breakfast. Laura was everything he’d always been attracted to in a woman, with a keen intelligence and goofy sense of humor and fresh, girl-next-door looks. It was obvious that she was very interested in Kelly, and it soothed his ragged ego even as he realized that he wasn’t quite as interested as he would have been just a few months earlier. Every time he tried to picture the two of them together in an intimate setting, a set of brilliant green eyes hovering over him invaded his thoughts.

Nick hadn’t asked him to wait, nor had he said anything about a personal relationship between the two of them after he returned from deployment. There had been no word from him in the meantime, and Kelly hadn’t wanted to put his life on hold anymore in the hopes that a sexual experiment would turn into something more meaningful. He wasn’t going to humiliate himself by waiting around for a man — Christ, a man. Kelly snorted to himself. Now that was a sentence he never thought he’d say. But that man hadn’t given him any indication that he wanted Kelly to wait, and Kelly wasn’t sure that he wanted to let Laura slip through his fingers.

So he’d continued to meet her at the jogging track, trading off taking each other to coffee and breakfast afterwards, the dismay inside him growing as he realized that he just wasn’t interested in her; he wasn’t interested in anybody but Nick. Just the day before, he’d decided to experiment with something. As they sat on the grass under a tree in the park, guzzling a bottle of water, Kelly had impulsively turned to her and asked if he could kiss her. Her eyes had widened, and she’d laughed.

“Why, yes. That would be very nice,” she’d teased.

Kelly leaned to her and kissed her gently, hearing her soft moan and feeling her arms go around his neck. He slid his arms around her and pulled her to him. It was a nice kiss, he mused, but the feel of her mouth was overshadowed by the memory of firmer, rougher lips and a scratchy jaw. Her slim body was replaced by a hard frame with muscles that rippled under Kelly’s gripping fingers, and her feminine sighs were overtaken by a deep voice, rough with passion, that growled in Kelly’s ear. 

Laura was sweet, and she felt good in his arms, yet Kelly realized that his dick wasn’t interested; it remained completely limp. He’d pulled away from her with a sigh of regret. She was great, and he liked her, and in a minute she would probably want to kick his ass.

“Not happening for you, Kelly?” she’d said intuitively, her gaze scanning down his body, and he’d cringed inwardly as the evidence of his lack of interest was revealed by his clingy running shorts. He leaned back against the tree with a sigh.

“I’m so sorry, hon. A few months ago, I would have been all over you, believe me.”

She’d laughed again, but her eyes held a shadow of hurt. Kelly’s soft heart twinged a little at her expression. God, he hated hurting people’s feelings. He was a healer, he’d never been a heart-breaker.

“Why a few months ago and not now? You seeing someone?”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘seeing,’ exactly. I got involved with someone a few months ago, and it ended, got put on hold, whatever, and I thought that maybe I was over it. But now I don’t think I am, in fact I know I’m not, and I want to wait and see what happens.”

“She’s a lucky girl,” Laura had said bitterly, starting to get up.

“It’s not a girl,” Kelly blurted. “It’s a guy, one of my best friends.” 

Laura had sat back down with a loud “oof,” her mouth open, gaping at Kelly. They stared at each other for a second until Laura said, “Wow. Way to just…put that out there.”

“Yeah, my brain-to-mouth filter isn’t always reliable,” Kelly said ruefully. “I’m sorry.”

Laura stared at him for another minute, then she giggled. “So you got the hots for your buddy, huh?”

“Oh, yeah, big-time,” Kelly said a little more fervently than he’d intended, and Laura giggled again as he flushed to the roots of his hair. She’d stood up, and held her hand down to help pull Kelly to his feet.

“Let’s go grab breakfast, and I want to hear ALL about this.”

Now, Kelly smiled as he keyed in a response to Laura’s text, telling her that he’d be at the park the next morning for their run at the usual time. At breakfast the previous day, he’d ended up telling her the whole story, and he realized that a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders at having someone to talk to about it. He’d never been one to hide things, and he knew that he often wore his heart on his sleeve. Keeping it all inside had made things worse, and now he felt he had some clarity. He could finally admit to himself, out loud, that he wanted more. He wanted more, and he wanted it with Nick. Now Nick just had to get his ass home safely.

Kelly finished his beer, and decided that he would listen to the phone message tomorrow. There would be no way to call Nick back anyway, and he just didn’t feel up to dealing with the pain that would come after listening to his voice and knowing that he was far away, and in a dangerous area. Kelly sighed and went back inside his house, deciding to fix himself some pancakes for dinner. As he expertly flipped them, he mulled over what he wanted to say to Nick if they did get a chance to talk soon.

****

The next afternoon, Kelly leaned against a fence, watching a small group of 11- and 12-year-old boys circle around the paddock on placid horses. He enjoyed his volunteer work at this camp for high-risk kids, kids that had potential but just needed that extra bit of support from compassionate, caring adults. Kelly taught a CPR and first-aid class for the other camp volunteers and counselors, and also acted as a sort of Big Brother to some of the pre-teen boys that attended the camp. Normally camps ran in week-long sessions, the theme tailored to the season, but the kids could come by any time, weather permitting, and ride the horses. Being around horses, caring for them, petting them and feeding them, had proven therapeutic to even the most hardened and tough-to-reach kids. Kelly enjoyed being involved and making a difference.

“Hey, Josh,” he called to one of the boys seated high up on a horse, giving him a thumbs’ up when the kid looked at him. Josh’s happy grin warmed his heart, and he smiled back. A small group of counselors and volunteers stood watching Josh and the other boys that were riding, keeping an eye on things. The camp horse wrangler walked around inside the paddock, making sure the boys were using proper form as they rode, calling out encouragement. This was a place that Kelly loved to be, and he’d made some good friends here, friends that had helped ease the loneliness and grief that had hit him after Nick and the rest of Sidewinder had gone off to war without him.

“Doc!” Kelly turned, smiling, at the sound of a young voice, seeing a few of his favorite campers coming to gather around him.

“Hey, ‘sup?” he said, fist bumps all around. “How’s it hanging, bros?” The boys all snickered at Kelly’s attempt at being cool, and he smiled inwardly, enjoying their eye rolls and snorts.

“Big hike next month, up in Boulder. You gonna make it, Doc?”

Kelly slung his arm around the shoulders of the skinny African-American boy who’d asked the question, rubbing the knuckles of his other hand across the boy’s short hair. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world, Terrell.”

“Cool. We’re gonna camp and everything.”

“Doc, while we’re out there, can you teach us some of that Marine survival shit…er, stuff?” That question had come from Miguel, who, when he first started coming to the camp, had had a chip on his shoulder the size of Pike’s Peak. Kelly had known a few Marine privates exactly like Miguel, and he’d known immediately how to handle him, with a combination of toughness and kindness, treating him like a boot camp recruit. Kelly had made it clear he had high expectations and wouldn’t take any excuses, and the kid had responded accordingly. Kelly was extremely proud of the young man and the progress he’d made.

“You know it, amigo. We’re gonna do all sorts of badass Marine…stuff.” The boys all laughed and cheered, high-fiving Kelly before moving off to their next activity. He watched them go, then turned his attention back to the boys riding in the paddock. Josh waved and grinned at him again as he rode by, and Kelly gave him the ‘hang loose’ sign.

“Kelly.” He turned toward the sound of a feminine voice, smiling down at the petite woman who stood with her hands on her hips watching him. “Did you get my message the other day? With my friend’s phone number? She said you hadn’t called yet.”

“Uh, yeah…about that, Beth,” Kelly hedged, his face flushing as he was about to disappoint the hopes of yet another woman. Where were all these great women six months ago when he’d actually been available? Fucking figured.

He took a deep breath and said, yet again, “I’m, uh – I was seeing someone and I thought maybe it was over, but for me it’s not, and I’m not looking to date anyone else right now.”

Beth glared at him. She was one of the other camp volunteers, the one that he’d really clicked with, and he’d had some great times with her and her husband lately, getting together to watch games, barbeque, just hang out. Beth had a friend that she claimed would be ‘perfect’ for Kelly, and had been trying to set them up for weeks. He’d actually been somewhat interested, then he’d met Laura, and then he’d had his epiphany about Nick…fucking hell, why was everything so fucking complicated?

“You’re seeing someone? Why haven’t you mentioned her up until now, and why haven’t you brought her around?” Beth demanded suspiciously. Kelly knew that her reaction stemmed from concern and caring, and the thought warmed his heart. 

“I haven’t mentioned him because —“ Kelly’s attention was caught by a different group of boys some distance away, hunched over something. He’d better go check it out, knock some heads together if he had to. He didn’t like the way they were looking furtively over their shoulders at the adults.

“Excuse me?” Beth’s voice cut into his thoughts. “Did you say…him?”

“What?” Kelly tried to focus, his attention still on the boys. “Him who?”

“You just said you hadn’t mentioned ‘him.’ The person you said you were dating!” Beth burst out impatiently when Kelly still looked mystified.

“Oh, right. I haven’t mentioned him because everything is still really new, and I’m not sure when he’s coming back or what he’s got in mind when he does.” Kelly looked over at the boys again, his eyes narrowing. 

“You’re GAY?” Beth’s voice rose in disbelief. “Why is this the first I’m hearing about this? Jesus Christ, Kelly!”

Kelly looked at Beth again. Wow, she was really upset.

“What?”

“What? What? You’re asking me, ‘what?’ Seriously, Kelly! I’m trying to set you up with a woman, and you knew this. And now you just off-handedly say, ‘Wow, golly gee, I’m gay!” She hauled off and hit him in the arm. Kelly howled and clutched his stinging bicep.

“Ow! I don’t know if I’m gay!”

“HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW IF YOU’RE GAY?” Beth was almost shouting by this point, and she made a visible effort to get a hold of herself as a few heads swiveled their direction.

“Because I’ve never felt anything for a man before now. And now I feel something for this guy, and I’ve been confused. Okay?” Kelly said indignantly. “I want to wait until he comes home, see where this thing with him might be going. Until then, I’m not going to date anyone.”

Beth’s next words were cut off by several loud pops nearby, and he instinctively threw himself at her, knocking her to the ground and covering her with his body. It had sounded like gunshots, and he instantly went into battle mode, his head lifting and his eyes scanning for the threat, his focus razor-sharp.

The boys Kelly had observed earlier were standing around what he could now see looked like bottle rockets, laughing and pointing at the adults’ reactions. Kelly was furious, the little shits could have scared the horses…just as that thought entered his mind, screams echoed from the paddock, and Kelly saw with horror that a few of the normally docile horses were panicking, shying and bucking, trying to get the weight off their backs so they could bolt for safety from the loud noise. The wrangler managed to grab a couple of the bridles, but Josh’s horse broke away, bucking wildly, throwing himself in circles as he tried to dislodge a terrified Josh, who was clinging for dear life to the pommel of the saddle. His feet had come loose from the stirrups, and unless the horse could be calmed, Josh was going to be thrown.

Kelly stood up and took off for the paddock at a dead run, vaulting the fence and dodging the horse’s flailing hooves, trying to get a grasp of the trailing reins, the bridle, something to stop the horse before it bucked Josh off. The horse broke free of Kelly’s clutching hands, and Kelly had to dive to the side as the beast turned and kicked out at him, razor-sharp hooves passing inches from his unprotected head. At least Josh had a helmet on, camp rules, and Kelly could only watch helplessly as the horse took off running toward the other end of the paddock. Josh was barely hanging on, and the wrangler and one other camp volunteer took off after them, trying to stop the horse. Kelly regained his feet once again and followed, his heart pounding with dread; he didn’t see this ending well.

The horse stopped its headlong dash and threw itself into a twisting half-spin, and Josh went sailing through the air, up and over the fence, crashing into a small pile of farm tools that were set out for some maintenance to be done later. Kelly switched direction to head toward Josh’s location, vaulting the fence again as he ran to the fallen boy. To his absolute horror, he saw Josh’s hand reach up to clutch his throat just a red fountain of blood arced out, spraying several feet away. He’d apparently gashed his neck on a rake that had fallen face-up, the sharp tines facing upward.

Kelly fell to his knees beside Josh, shoved the terrified boy’s hands away from his throat and assessed the wound quickly. There was a large gash in the boy’s neck, gaping obscenely open, and bright red blood was spraying out, pumping outward with every beat of the boy’s heart.

Kelly had seen these wounds before on the battlefield, men hit in the neck by shrapnel, and sometimes, if the artery was only nicked and not severed, there was a way to…Kelly jammed his fingers into the wound, feeling around until he found where the blood spray was originating from, and he pinched his fingers closed, gasping in relief as the flow stopped. Nicked, not severed! Kelly’s relief was short-lived as the terrified child tried to fight him, writhing and pushing at Kelly’s hand. 

“Josh, buddy, take it easy,” Kelly soothed, looking desperately around for help. Several people ran up just then, dropping to their knees beside him.

“Hold him! Hold him still!” Hands gripped Josh’s shoulders and legs, pinning him, holding him down. Kelly looked around until he saw Beth hovering over the kneeling people.

“Beth! Call 911,” he ordered, seeing that she already had her phone up to her ear. “Tell them that there is a 12-year-old male with an injury to the external carotid artery , bleeding is under control through direct internal pressure.”

Kelly nodded his head at one of the other bystanders, a camp counselor.

“John, reach into my left hip pocket and get my car keys. It’s the yellow Jeep in the parking lot. Get my medical kit out of the back and bring it to me.” Kelly canted his hip up so the man could reach into his pocket and grab the keys, then take off at a run to where the vehicles were parked.

Kelly continued to pinch the artery closed, talking soothingly to the boy, who was obviously going into shock. His skin was pale and clammy, and he was gasping for air. Kelly directed some of the other people crowded around to elevate Josh’s legs, and someone sat down at Josh’s feet and lifted his legs onto his upraised knees, holding onto them to keep them still. Someone else brought a blanket and tucked it around Josh’s shivering body.

John ran back with the medical kit, dropping it down next to Kelly. Kelly looked around for Susan, the camp nurse. She had just arrived at the scene, and was pushing her way into the crowd.

“What can I do?” she asked calmly, and Kelly motioned her to kneel down beside him.

“Open my medical kit, get gloved up,” he directed. After she had obeyed, he said, “Are you comfortable taking over for me here?” She swallowed visibly and then nodded. 

“Reach your hand in, feel where my fingers are. Good. Now pinch hard, and don’t let go.” Once Susan’s hand was in place, Kelly cautiously withdrew his fingers from the wound, breathing a sigh of relief as the pressure held; no additional blood spurted out. He reached into his medical kit and grabbed some sterile wipes, cleaning up his hands swiftly before pulling some gloves on.

Working quickly, he set up a saline IV, inserting the needle into the back of the boy’s hand and taping it down. He directed one of the other bystanders to hold the bag and be sure the tubing remained unkinked. After querying Susan and learning that Josh had no known drug allergies, Kelly drew up a very small dose of painkiller and injected it directly into the large muscle in the boy’s thigh. Immediately the boy relaxed, even the small amount of drug taking effect. Kelly then followed it up with an injection of a broad-spectrum antibiotic since his ungloved fingers had been in the wound field.

Kelly rummaged further in his kit, bringing out a couple of sealed packages of sterile hemostatic gauze ribbon, which was designed for narrower, shallower wounds and was treated with a clotting agent to help stop hemorrhaging. He ripped open the package, handling the gauze with his gloved hands. 

“Okay, Susan, I’m going to have you move your fingers in a minute so that I can pack the wound with this gauze.” Kelly spoke in low, reassuring tones as he moved up closer to where Susan was kneeling.

“Why can’t I just keep doing what I’m doing? It’s working, Kelly,” she murmured, not wanting Josh to hear.

“But if you lose your grip, even for a few seconds, by the time you get it back he could bleed out and go into cardiac arrest. He’s already lost too much blood. The transfer to the hospital in a bumpy, speeding ambulance is too risky for him.”

Susan glanced at him, indecision in her eyes.

“Susan, trust me,” Kelly whispered urgently. “This gauze was designed for combat wounds so that injured servicemen and women could be safely transferred by helicopter or Humvee under battlefield conditions. This is his best chance for survival until he can be gotten to surgery.”

Susan bit her lip, then nodded.

“Ready?” Kelly asked, and she took a deep breath before pulling her fingers back. She flinched as a spray of blood immediately arced out, hitting Kelly in the chest as he worked quickly, packing the hemostatic gauze down tightly into the gaping wound. It immediately turned red, and Kelly ripped open a second package, layering it over the first set. It remained reassuringly white as the clotting agent began to take effect. He packed in a few more layers, covering the entire thing with a large pad of regular gauze.

“Okay, Susan, now place your hand over this whole thing and provide as much direct pressure as you can.” Kelly would have done it himself, but he knew that Susan needed to do this, to reassure herself that she was doing everything possible for this boy that had been signed into her care when he arrived at the campground.

She competently placed her palm over the gauze packing and pressed down firmly. Kelly checked the placement of everything, satisfied that the pressure and packing was adequate and the bleeding was under control.

He busied himself checking Josh’s vitals, and suddenly, sirens could be heard in the background, the wailing steadily getting louder and then stopping as the ambulance pulled up as close as it could get. Paramedics ran quickly, the bystanders scattering to get out of their way, except for the ones directly involved in Josh’s care.

Kelly nodded to them and rattled off, “Twelve-year-old male with injury to external carotid artery, bleeding controlled by direct internal pressure, followed by hemostatic wound gauze and external pressure. Point-oh-five morphine on board subcutaneous, lactacted ringers IV. Shocky, pulse thready, breathing rapid and shallow.”

He stepped back as the paramedics took over and began their own assessments. Susan was holding steady, the pressure she was providing not letting up for an instant.

“Susan, the paramedics can take over for the ride to the hospital,” Kelly said gently. “You must be getting tired.”

“No, I’ve got this,” Susan said calmly. “I’m fine, and he’s my responsibility now. I want to do this.” Kelly caught the eye of the lead paramedic with a questioning look, and the other man nodded in agreement. Susan would be allowed to accompany Josh to the hospital.

“And Kelly…” Susan reached out her free hand and gripped his arm. “I don’t know if you’re a believer, but I’m thanking God for you right now. This boy would have died if you hadn’t been here.” Kelly smiled, patting her hand and squeezing it before she let go of his arm.

An oxygen mask was placed over Josh’s mouth and nose, and heart and oxygen level monitors were taped on his chest and fingers. One of the paramedics took over holding the bag of saline, and Josh was carefully rolled onto his side so that a backboard could be placed under him. He was rolled slowly back flat once again and strapped down, then lifted and put on the stretcher, Susan’s hand holding steady the whole time. Once Josh was stabilized on the stretcher, one of the paramedics boosted Susan up carefully so that she was straddling Josh’s legs, kneeling on the stretcher with him, and the whole group moved carefully off to the waiting ambulance.

Suddenly, Josh’s mom ran up frantically, having received a call from the camp director. Thankfully she wasn’t hysterical, realizing that the paramedics had things under control, and she climbed into the ambulance behind the stretcher and the sirens screamed away, fading into the distance.

“Wow, man, that was some freaky shit,” someone murmured. “Are you a doctor?”

“2nd Force Recon,” Kelly replied tersely, and he heard a few quiet “oo-rahs” from the assembled crowd.

Kelly moved off to the side, leaning against the fence and putting his head down on his crossed arms, breathing deeply. He was covered head-to-toe in Josh’s blood, and he could feel it crusting on his neck and face. He would just take a minute before re-packing his gear, a minute to try and banish the sight of the kid’s terrified face, the gushing blood…and the battlefield memories that were welling up; other terrified faces, bodies torn to shreds by shrapnel, bullets, IEDs. He thought of his teammates, his friends, his lover, out there right now in harm’s way, and the pain, anger and sadness almost overwhelmed him. He should be there, goddammit.

But if you were there and not here, dumbass, that kid would have died today. 

Kelly could almost hear Nick’s voice in his ear, and he choked out a laugh. After a few minutes of trying not to fall apart, he began to re-pack his equipment carefully, making a note of what he would need to replace, putting his bloody gloves in a biohazard bag for disposal. He felt a hesitant touch on his shoulder and turned, looking into Beth’s concerned eyes. He managed a shaky half-smile as she reached up to pat his cheek, murmuring, “Pretty handy to have around, aren’t you? Thank goodness you were here.”

****

Kelly entered his house and shut the door, his knees suddenly going weak. He leaned against the door, his keys and sunglasses dropping from his nerveless fingers. His body shaking with delayed reaction, he managed to stagger a few steps into the foyer before his legs collapsed, and he fell to the floor in a heap, wrapping his arms around his upraised knees and burying his face, gasping for breath as he tried to regain control.

His training had taken over today, and had stood him in good stead, helping him save that kid’s life. It was a freak accident that nobody could have foreseen, and Kelly could picture all too clearly what would have happened if he hadn’t been there. Another image immediately followed that one, an image of grieving, bewildered parents who had dropped their son off for a fun day at camp and then at the end of the day were expected to identify a body. It had been so fucking close. Kelly had never been so grateful in his life for his fully-stocked medical kit and the compulsive need he had to always carry it with him close to hand. So many times in the desert one of his teammates’ lives had depended on him being there, in control, prepared, and it made the difference between life and death. Not once, but hundreds of times. And today it had made the difference again.

Kelly tried to regulate his breathing, center himself. Today had been so different from a combat situation, where men were trained to put their lives on the line, where bullets and bombs were the norm, where gruesome, grievous wounds were all too plentiful. The innocent kid today, looking up at him with scared, bewildered eyes, had shaken him badly.

After a few minutes with his head between his knees breathing deeply, Kelly felt strong enough to push himself to his feet, and he staggered toward his bathroom, pulling off his bloody clothes and leaving them in a heap for disposal. A long, hot shower later, he felt something approaching human again. He was back in his kitchen fixing himself a sandwich when the house phone rang, jarring him. Glancing at the Caller ID display, he froze as the calling card number from the day before popped up. Nick.

Suddenly every doubt he’d been harboring fled, and he wanted nothing more than to hear Nick’s voice. Lunging for the cordless phone handset, he snatched it up.

“Hello?”

“Kelly?”

“Nick! Jesus Christ, it’s good to hear your voice,” Kelly exclaimed, his hand tightening on the receiver.

He could hear the smile in Nick’s voice as he replied, “You too, Doc.” There was a brief pause, and then Nick said, “How have you been?”

Kelly huffed a laugh. “I’ve had better days,” he said drily. “But let’s not waste your calling card minutes on me. What the fuck is going on? Why are you calling? How are the guys? Is everything okay?” Kelly knew he was babbling but he couldn’t stop.

“Slow down, Kels,” Nick said, laughter still in his voice. “Everything is okay, the guys are fine. At least they were a couple of days ago when I left.”

Kelly couldn’t believe how clear the connection was, no static, the background noise that could be expected of a busy command post not present. Then Nick’s words sunk in.

“What do you mean, when you left? Where the fuck are you?”

“I’m still in London. My flight leaves in a few –“

Kelly interrupted, his voice rising. “Still in London? You’re in London? What the fuck, O’Flaherty?”

“Fucking hell, Doc, didn’t you get the message I left yesterday? I told you what was going on, where you could call me back, and you never did.” Nick’s voice was indignant, and Kelly flushed guiltily as he thought of the unheard message that was still making itself known by the blinking light on his answering machine.

“I – uh – I thought –“ Kelly stammered, no ready excuse coming to mind.

“You didn’t listen to it, Kels?” Nick asked. “Why?”

“I don’t know, Nick. I just…I don’t know,” Kelly said weakly. “I’m sorry.”

Silence buzzed between them for a few tense seconds, and then Nick blew out a breath.

“I’m in London, on my way back to the States. I’m on leave.”

“On leave? Headed to Boston, then.” Kelly’s throat was tight. Maybe he could suggest meeting Nick there…? He drew breath to ask when Nick said, “Actually, I’m headed to Baltimore. I need to see Garrett, and then take care of a few things.”

“Garrett?” Kelly asked, puzzled.

“Ty asked me to give him something, a letter from him. I’m going to stop by and see him, and…” Nick’s voice trailed off.

“And?” Kelly encouraged.

“I — shit. I was wondering if you would meet me in Baltimore,” Nick said in a rush, his voice tight.

Elation swelled in Kelly’s chest as he choked out, “Yes,” and he heard Nick’s breath whoosh out in apparent relief. 

“When?” Kelly asked.

“My flight from here leaves in a couple of hours, and I’m scheduled to get to Baltimore by mid-afternoon tomorrow.”

“Shit, tomorrow?” Kelly’s mind started racing, planning. He’d have to call the airline, book a last-minute ticket, let the camp know that he wouldn’t be in for a couple of days…

“Yeah, tomorrow, Kels,” Nick said drily. “Which you would have known if you’d listened to my fucking message. I told you where you could call me in London, and I figured you’d call last night and we’d talk about it. Then when I didn’t hear from you…” Nick’s voice trailed off again with a questioning tone.

“I’m really sorry, Nick,” Kelly said again. “I saw that number, and I knew it was you, and I thought you were calling from — wherever you’ve been these last few months. I didn’t want to think of you being there, and I knew I couldn’t call you back, and I – I just –“

“When you didn’t call last night, I figured that you’d had too much time to think, that you regretted what happened between us.”

“No!” Kelly burst out. “I don’t regret it, Nick. It’s just not easy, you know? When I don’t hear from you, when I don’t know where you are, what you’re doing – fuck, I sound pathetic. I’ve just never been on this end of it before. It’s damn hard.”

Kelly knew how hard the military life was on relationships. Deployments, separations, they took their toll. The spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend left behind learned to adapt and overcome, the hole left by their absent loved one absorbed into the routine of every-day life until it sometimes closed, and the spouse or significant other returned to find there was no place for them anymore. But the Nick-shaped hole in Kelly’s life hadn’t closed, no matter how hard he had tried lately to force it to. 

“So you’ll meet me?” Nick’s question was tentative. “We should have some time to talk, after I stop by Garrett’s.”

“Yep, just try to keep me away.”

“Good.” There was a wealth of satisfaction in the word, and Kelly chuckled.

“I’m arriving about 3 p.m. local time. If you arrange a flight to get in around the same time, we can just meet at the airport and go from there.”

At Nick’s words, Kelly’s mind flashed back a few weeks to a conversation he’d had with Zane. It had been an impulse call on Kelly’s part, a need to connect with someone else that had been left behind, someone that felt the weight of uncertainty and the daily fear that niggled in the back of the mind, what if they don’t come back?

Zane had answered and immediately assumed that Kelly had news or something to pass along from Ty, and when he learned that wasn’t the case, the pain and disappointment that he’d tried so hard to hide had broken Kelly’s heart.

“No, Nick,” Kelly said quietly. “Get Zane’s letter to him. Just get off the plane and go straight there. I’ll get a flight as close to your arrival time as I can and just meet you at his house.”

“Yeah,” Nick said, and Kelly knew he understood. “Just meet me there.”

Kelly sighed and changed the subject. “So, how’s the new Doc?” His replacement. 

“He’s a decent enough dude,” Nick said. “The guys in the unit are starting to trust him, and he can hold his own out there, you know?” 

Kelly was surprised at the mild jealousy that spread through him. A unit combat medic was so much more than the man that patched them back together on the battlefield, he was a priest, a confidant, someone the guys could talk to when they came in for a scratchy throat, a case of athlete’s foot, heat exhaustion. Kelly knew about all of their wives and girlfriends, their kids, the ups and downs of their lives. More than once a few of them had cried on his shoulder over something going on back home. He’d cared for more than their bodies, he’d cared for their minds and hearts, too.

“Nobody hates him,” Nick continued, and they both laughed quietly. “He’s just not you, Kels.” Kelly felt warmth flow through him at the words, and he relaxed. 

A comfortable silence stretched, and Kelly enjoyed the sound of Nick’s breathing coming over the line, breathing that meant that he was alive, that he was safe. And Kelly would see him tomorrow. The thought filled him with a sudden joy, and hope.

“Hey,” Nick said gently. “You still with me?”

“I am,” Kelly whispered, a wealth of meaning in the simple phrase. 

“Good. That’s good,” Nick whispered back. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Kels.” With a soft click, the connection cut off.

Kelly held onto the phone for another minute, a goofy smile on his face. 

“See you tomorrow.”


End file.
